Marriage Marred
This is an advertisement, which is worth a good laugh, for Nomad whereby there are selling out their "No commitment, no contract" for mobile plan.
In the ad, the couple has just tied the nuptial knot and are being led by their raging hormones. Bride goes missing for quite awhile and groom peeps into the toilet only to be horrified by seeing his bride standing to pee - you get the picture.
I feel that true marriages are always hard to come by.
By true, I define is as the legal union of two people who stand by their matrimonial vows which stems from the love they have for each other; meaning they abide by each word: "To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."
Since time, wedded bliss revolves more around money issues and extending the family line. In the past, daughters are married off to settle debts using their dowry. Men are forced to get married for procreating purposes, Wives are chosen based on their abilities in household chores and the ability to bear children. Relational development might happen after, or not at all.
-------
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/world/862580/teen-marries-elderly-man-to-settle-debt
Recently, in Bangladesh, a teenage (13-year old) daughter was married off to a 75-year old creditor, in payment of the cow her dad has loaned. Apparently such instances are very common in Bangladesh, a Muslim majority nation, as they are able to alter their ages.
-------
Here are a few excerpts of an interview of a couple who married for materialistic measures and are opened about it:
Guy: "Think of it this way, most men have low self-esteem. He works hard to dress nice, buy hot stuff, etc. He wants a woman to notice. His thinking “If I can do this for myself, baby imagine what I can do for you.” That’s the bait and we fall for it every time. Now, not all guys can live up to this. Once you’re married and start to inquire you may learn he’s in debt, a con man or living off his momma’s insurance money and rents instead of owns his mini-mansion. Do yourself a favor and check all background and financial history prior to saying “I Do”.
Girl: “I’d say 60% money and 40% love. Just the way it should be.”
If a couple came together out of love and feelings for one another and that 50% of marriages ended up a flop, maybe this is why people are marrying for other reasons.
-------
However, should people marry for money, their main aim would be finalizing the divorce settlements instead. Divorce usually happen for 2 main reasons, one of it is communication, and the other, simply when feelings subside. Communication can lead to conflicts or non-communication leads to a stagnant relationship. Either way, it triggers the breakdown of the couples relationship and they find it pointless to continue.
However, now divorce can generate a large sum due to the splitting of assets, this is also why multiple marriages are a norm to some, mostly the ladies.
**While marriage equality for the single-sex is garnering a lot of attention, the media has overlooked the historic transformation in marriages which has consequences in socio-economical equality.
Statistics shown that both men and women whom are college-educated derive a higher sense of marital satisfaction and tend to enjoy a more blissful marriage as compared to those lacking one, who forgo marriage or face divorce at the end of the day.
Men without degrees are more incapable of generating a household wage, thus the tendency for them to settle down is lower. However, the number of non-college man is decreasing, leaving the less educated ladies, with lesser chances of education as compared to men, with fewer prospects.
Besides that, the shift is evident in the matrimony itself. The wedding ceremony, parties and dinners are getting more and more lavishing - they hire wedding organizers, floral designers, choose to hold it in exclusive destinations. In the movie, Bride Wars, the two friends are competing to have a wedding more outstanding than the other. In the past a modest church wedding followed by a dinner at a restaurant or in their backyards would have sufficed.
Marriage has taken a social shift as well. In the past at one point of time, settling down was ushering men and women into the adult life of starting a new family with a new load of responsibilities. Everyone could marry then, the young, the freshly graduated and the poor, Now, the definition has changed, the priorities have switched around. They see marriage as tying one down, not only settling. Only after a career has been stabilized, would marriage then be part of their option.
I guess one way of diminishing this gap between them is to further extend the chances of a college education to everyone, especially those with low income, or to provide them another chance at having an education for the blue-collared,
-------
Next, there are also some who do not believe in the institute of marriage. They feel that as long as both couples have feelings for each other and can cohabit in bliss together, there is not a need for them to legalize their marriage.
Here are a few excerpts of an interview of a couple who married for materialistic measures and are opened about it:
Guy: "Think of it this way, most men have low self-esteem. He works hard to dress nice, buy hot stuff, etc. He wants a woman to notice. His thinking “If I can do this for myself, baby imagine what I can do for you.” That’s the bait and we fall for it every time. Now, not all guys can live up to this. Once you’re married and start to inquire you may learn he’s in debt, a con man or living off his momma’s insurance money and rents instead of owns his mini-mansion. Do yourself a favor and check all background and financial history prior to saying “I Do”.
Girl: “I’d say 60% money and 40% love. Just the way it should be.”
If a couple came together out of love and feelings for one another and that 50% of marriages ended up a flop, maybe this is why people are marrying for other reasons.
However, should people marry for money, their main aim would be finalizing the divorce settlements instead. Divorce usually happen for 2 main reasons, one of it is communication, and the other, simply when feelings subside. Communication can lead to conflicts or non-communication leads to a stagnant relationship. Either way, it triggers the breakdown of the couples relationship and they find it pointless to continue.
However, now divorce can generate a large sum due to the splitting of assets, this is also why multiple marriages are a norm to some, mostly the ladies.
**While marriage equality for the single-sex is garnering a lot of attention, the media has overlooked the historic transformation in marriages which has consequences in socio-economical equality.
Statistics shown that both men and women whom are college-educated derive a higher sense of marital satisfaction and tend to enjoy a more blissful marriage as compared to those lacking one, who forgo marriage or face divorce at the end of the day.
Men without degrees are more incapable of generating a household wage, thus the tendency for them to settle down is lower. However, the number of non-college man is decreasing, leaving the less educated ladies, with lesser chances of education as compared to men, with fewer prospects.
Besides that, the shift is evident in the matrimony itself. The wedding ceremony, parties and dinners are getting more and more lavishing - they hire wedding organizers, floral designers, choose to hold it in exclusive destinations. In the movie, Bride Wars, the two friends are competing to have a wedding more outstanding than the other. In the past a modest church wedding followed by a dinner at a restaurant or in their backyards would have sufficed.
Marriage has taken a social shift as well. In the past at one point of time, settling down was ushering men and women into the adult life of starting a new family with a new load of responsibilities. Everyone could marry then, the young, the freshly graduated and the poor, Now, the definition has changed, the priorities have switched around. They see marriage as tying one down, not only settling. Only after a career has been stabilized, would marriage then be part of their option.
I guess one way of diminishing this gap between them is to further extend the chances of a college education to everyone, especially those with low income, or to provide them another chance at having an education for the blue-collared,
Next, there are also some who do not believe in the institute of marriage. They feel that as long as both couples have feelings for each other and can cohabit in bliss together, there is not a need for them to legalize their marriage.
So where exactly does marriage stands in our society now?
Labels: interpersonal, marriages
posted by cheryl at
11:08 AM
28 Comments
